It may be the middle of football season, but we received an email this morning that was far too hilarious to pass up.

Seton Hall is offering lower-level season tickets in a Buy One, Get One Free promotion. That’s right, folks! If you know how to fire a handgun and navigate NJ Transit, you and a friend can enjoy high-flying Pirate basketball at Newark’s Prudential Center for only half-price!

However, if you were dumb enough to already be a SHU season ticket holder, you unfortunately are not eligible to double your displeasure. Only “new” season ticket holders (read: those who missed the Bobby Gonzalez debacle) are eligible for this promotion, and anyone creating new accounts to skirt the rules will LOSE ALL PRIORITY POINTS. That’s a pretty big deterrent against shenanigans, if you ask us. How can you ever expect to reclaim priority over the six other season ticket holders?

For those of you who just can’t contain your excitement, click right here to waste your money make the best $550 investment of your life.