The NBA Draft Lottery went down last night, and with it came the most shocking of outcomes. Memphis and Boston, the two worst teams in the league, were both completely shut out in the drawing. With the top three slots filled by better teams, the Grizz and Celtics slid down the board to fourth and fifth.

The winners in this shocking turn of events were the young Portland Trail Blazers and the possibly soon-to-be-nomadic Seattle SuperSonics. Barring any trades in the next month, that means that Oden and Durant will both be heading to the rainy Pacific northwest, playing games when half of the country will be asleep. Awesome.

As a Celtics fan, I can’t even begin to explain how irritated I am over all of this. After last year’s debacle of trading away Brandon Roy — who would become Rookie of the Year — for Sebastian Freakin Telfair, I didn’t think it could be worse. I was very wrong. In Danny Ainge’s defense, this time he wasn’t the one screwing the pooch. But he did give Doc Rivers a contract extension….

I honestly just feel bad for KD. The Celtics will continue to suck, and I’m used to it. They have not been dominantly good since I was in preschool. But KD had a chance to keep his star shining brightly in an east coast market, and instead will be playing in (relative) obscurity in cities that do anything but scream “rabid fan base.”

For now, there’s a ton of workouts and evaluation for all the prospects not named Durant or Oden. But for Texas’ own Basketball Jesus, I really hope a trade goes down between now and June 28th.